Danny and Sammy 8th March 2012

I thought of you today I thought of you today and cried for a while, I kept thinking of you, and my tears turned too a smile. It's not your memory that makes me sad, it's the little time that we had together, and my short time as your dad. People ask if I'm ok and I don't know what to say, it's obvious that I'm not, but I still say yes anyway. Because I find it hard to talk about you, it's not that I'm being manly, I just don't know how too. I wanna tell the world I miss you and how much I hurt deep down, it's just so much easier, to keep quiet and act the clown. I think that if I pretend it's fine and that I am ok, that next time I won't be lying, I know it will be true one day. Although I wanna stop feeling like this and stop the hurt inside, I never wanna stop thinking of you, because for every hurtful thought I have I have ten filled with pride. I'm scared that if my pain goes away you'll think I don't love you anymore, I don't ever want you too think that, and would rather my heart always be sore. I'll never stop loving you or thinking of you with pride, I may keep my pain locked up, but that I'll never hide. Your little life was the making of mine, I'll never be the same again, but hopefully maybe somedays I'll be fine.